Harry Potter And The Hunt for The Queer Prince

Its 2020. Alas! Hollywood has filmed every science fiction that HG Wells or JG Ballard ever wrote. Spielberg has filed for bankruptcy. He is just waking up to the fact that the Social Security benefits were never meant for him.

Hollywood is now turning to fantasy writers for story ideas. The Potter franchise is still going strong and JK Rowling is on the verge of finishing her 12th release - "Harry Potter and the hunt for the queer Prince". As always, the story is a closely guarded secret and Rowling has refused to provide any previews. Luckily, the British maggots, I mean the tabloids got a unusual tip off from a waiter. He serves at the famed coffee shop where Rowling wrote this 12th book. Here's what we found out.

Potter sports short, spiky, gelled hair to hide his 30 something balding head. Hermoine flunked all her classes at Hogwarts since "Half blood prince" and so lost all her witchcraftery. She has moved in with Potter who now owns a opulent loft in Queersville. Ron refused to be the subservient sidekick to Potter and has started his own enterprise. The two however get along famously on the personal front as "friends". You see the reason why Harry and Ron moved to queersville is because they wanted to "see other people" after the stormy, abusive relationship they had as lovers.

Draco Malfoy has abducted the prince of queersville. Hermoine's only hope to recover her witchcraft skills is if she experiences conjugal bliss with the prince. Harry and Ron have joined hands (and more) again to rescue the prince.

Rowling's last 4 books have been banned in France because she accepted the honorary US citizenship. So rumor has it that Rowling has thrown in a little menaje-a-trois between Harry, Hermoine and Ron to appease the French readers.

Warner Bros has already signed Peter Jackson (LOTR and King Kong fame) to make the film version of this 12th book. Peter who has now put on 100lbs more since his LOTR days has decided to direct this film from his super speciality bed which has voice recognition software that transmits kinetic motion to the cameras. An ageing Orlando Bloom is playing the role of Harry. Lindsey Lohan plays Hermoine and Ron is played by the 20 year old Brit-Am, Rocco. You will remember him as the famed baby that Guy Ritchie and Madonna practiced parenting skills on.