The Hug Whore

They typically hang loose at those social gatherings, schmoozing and trash talking, holding their drink with minimum finger usage that would put Cary Grant's Scotch drinking etiquette to shame. Moving around a crowded bar, cleverly piercing through the shoulders traffic and taking well measured stops to exercise their dreaded swift move.

Victims have narrated the trauma they were subjected to. Some call it a sleight of hand thats cleverly disguised to inflict deep emotional agony. Typically, this offender approaches from the left of you - that being your weak zone. They do take time to study you if you are a Southpaw. So you dont constrain them by fidgeting or changing your leg stance, they distract you with pleasant greetings like "heeelllo stranger" "Oh my god! where have you been?".

The offender's motion is predominantly around the shoulder region. Their pelvic alignment is such that the victim suffers shoulder shrinkage and lack of movement. The victim therefore has no choice but to give in and be violated.

Reports suggest that the offense rates spike during weekends. Our forensic experts have provided a schematic version of this dreaded move. Be on the look out for this move. This is the elevation view of a hug whore in action.


If you spot one, run for cover to the nearest wall corner or the rest room. A national alert has been sounded to quell this heinous act. If the current spate of offenses continue, anthropologists suspect that the human emotion of "true care and concern" will become extinct in the next decade. The hug whores must be decimated to sustain the soothing re-inforcing effect of body contact and gestures.