A Screenwriter's Angst

So I hit that inevitable, dreaded juggernaut of Indie filmaking. A state of suspended animation because my investor thinks my script is too risque` and doesnt have enough "family drama". A family drama that will be used as a pretext for all the maamas and maamis, chaachas and chaachis to come together, around a center table packed with samosas and dhoklas, to stare at fine drapes and "tears and faints-on-demand" sentiments with some sophisticated naach and nautanki. I refuse to serve up plasma size entertainment for a chai party.

And oh yeah ! in these so called family dramas the Indian women aren't supposed to be having orgasms. Its ok for them to be sweaty and rub their legs against eachother like some imaginary rock climbing exercise
OR
even show their bare, wet shoulders under shower heads with extreme "bliss" on their faces. Bliss, Yes. Orgasm, No!!!

Family drama - some kinda screenwriting nirvana for me now. Why can't I keep it real and still be a successful screenwriter ?

I was on the verge of giving up on this project. After a couple of Malbecs, I figured that independent filmmaking is not all about creative art, its about a personal struggle and triumph too like any other passion that we all share. A basic value statement, yet very re-inforcing.

I haven't written a Reservoir Dogs, for a Miramax to see what other ain't seeing. But, I am sure somewhere out there is a pair of eyes with deep pockets that respects the cinematic values of a female orgasm.

I will not edit or refine that scene. My conviction stems from a spate of quality films I have seen lately including....

Middle of the World - My fascination with Brazilian films continues with this extraordinarily simple film about a man who embarks on bicycles with his 5 kids to find a decent living. He travels to Rio De Janeiro. The journey is a revelation of the man's unbridled allegiance to value systems like honesty, persistence and self-respect.

Parineeta - A brilliant coming together of great story telling and filmmaking technique. I could hardly tell that the Director of Photography (N. Subramanian), lead actress (Vidya Balan) and Director (Pradeep Sarkar) were all making their feature debut. The script was amazingly tight. Very commendable and convincing time reset to 1960s, given that the adaptation is from a book that was set in 1930s.

The Hug Whore

They typically hang loose at those social gatherings, schmoozing and trash talking, holding their drink with minimum finger usage that would put Cary Grant's Scotch drinking etiquette to shame. Moving around a crowded bar, cleverly piercing through the shoulders traffic and taking well measured stops to exercise their dreaded swift move.

Victims have narrated the trauma they were subjected to. Some call it a sleight of hand thats cleverly disguised to inflict deep emotional agony. Typically, this offender approaches from the left of you - that being your weak zone. They do take time to study you if you are a Southpaw. So you dont constrain them by fidgeting or changing your leg stance, they distract you with pleasant greetings like "heeelllo stranger" "Oh my god! where have you been?".

The offender's motion is predominantly around the shoulder region. Their pelvic alignment is such that the victim suffers shoulder shrinkage and lack of movement. The victim therefore has no choice but to give in and be violated.

Reports suggest that the offense rates spike during weekends. Our forensic experts have provided a schematic version of this dreaded move. Be on the look out for this move. This is the elevation view of a hug whore in action.


If you spot one, run for cover to the nearest wall corner or the rest room. A national alert has been sounded to quell this heinous act. If the current spate of offenses continue, anthropologists suspect that the human emotion of "true care and concern" will become extinct in the next decade. The hug whores must be decimated to sustain the soothing re-inforcing effect of body contact and gestures.

My first canvas art post !

What struck me most about this painting was it instantly transported me and set the mood of a dusky summer day by the beach. I am no art connoisseur, but Bad_Bala surely caught me pleasantly suprised by this one. Her previous works were abstract, cubist wannabes. But this one surely, is one of her best.

The use of red and the seemless composition of the bright sun into the red along with silhouette effect for the subjects somewhat pronounces the somberness of the whole canvas. The canvas, by the way, is a straw mat, if you havent noticed it.

OK! my adorable, unprententious roomie finally made it to my blogs..she better buy me lunch for this.

My Satire, My Perversion - How low can I go?

All my outgoing emails now have a link to my blog. And so, I have had my share of cursory readers. One inquisitive reader in Newyork was curious about the meaning of my blog title - Tanmaya Vichara Marga. For the benefit of those who are linguistically challenged, its sanskrit for "The path of Self-inquiry".

I could almost sense what she was thinking, that it was a blasphemy to be using a sanskrit title to address topics related to sexual dynamics, more so because, there is more to self-inquiry than Jack Rabbits and Orgasm etiquettes. "Sexual dynamics" surely ain't my euphemism for perversion. I know! Thats what the producers of "Desperate Housewives" must be saying.

Seriously though, I believe that there is tremendous scope for satire in sexuality. The rhetoric of sexuality is such that its metaphors can be drawn from everyday life.

The other day, I was inquiring about one of those "creative dates" that my friend, 'Mocha_Da_Flava_Seeker' went on. It was at the shooting range. I have never been to one before. Everything that I quizzed her, somehow carried enough double entendre to tread the thin line between unforced satire and being outrageously nasty. "When you squeezed the trigger, did your palm feel the shock?" , "How many rounds did you do?". All valid questions aite?

Dont even get me started on a creative date like "rock climbing", what with tying and pulling, belaying and coming down and such other "verb"asive references.



Agreed!! We men have a case of misplaced hearts or just blame it on gravity.

But, my quest for satire will not be lost in the dark, twisted ravens of perversion...phew! you know what I mean. Thats my story and this one aint that stuck.

A feeling so divided !

After that rather long wait, Coldplay finally released their album, X&Y. I downloaded X&Y early this week and watched em perform some of the songs on vh1 Storytellers. The brilliant imagery of the words has left me mesmerized. They definitely seem to be inching closer to those dizzy heights of that rare poet songwriter rocker Jim Morrison. OK!! OK!! Not quite there yet...I said inching closer.

Strangely so, on my playlist, Coldplay's X&Y is stacked right above another emerging Brit rock band called Kaiser Chiefs. Most of last week, I was listening to Kaiser's debut album 'Employment'. Call it being young and bashful or seemingly arrogant even, Kaiser sure seems to have their own take on letting the past die. Coldplay on the other hand, celebrates the past.

Check this out ...

Coldplay's Fix You

when you try your best but you don't succeed
when you get what you want but not what you need
when you feel so tired but you can't sleep
stuck in reverse

and the tears come streaming down your face
when you lose something you can't replace
when you love someone but it goes to waste
could it be worse?

lights will guide you home
and ignite your bones
and i will try to fix you

high up above or down below
when you're too in love to let it go
but if you'll never try, you'll never know
just what you're worth

lights will guide you home
and ignite your bones
and i will try to fix you
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sure!!!! being stuck in reverse makes you feel like that rat upon a wheel. A wheel that goes backward when you try to step forward.

Here's something thats more therapeutic...............................

Kaiser Chiefs' Everyday I Love you Less and Less

Everyday I love you less and less
It's clear to see that you've become obsessed
I've got to get this message to the press
That everyday I love you less and less
And everyday I love you less and less
I've got to get this feeling off my chest
The Doctor says all I needs pills and rest
Since everyday I love you less and less
Unless, unless
I know, I feel it in my bones
I'm sick, I'm tired of staying in control
Oh yes, I feel a rat upon a wheel
i've got to no what's not and what's real
Oh yes I'm stressed, I'm sorry I digressed
Impressed you're dressed to SOS
Oh, and my parents love me
Oh, and my girlfriend loves me
Everyday I love you less and less
I can't believe once you and me did sex
It makes me sick to think of you undressed
Since everyday I love you less and less
And everyday I love you less and less
You're turning into something I detest
And everybody says that your a mess
Since everyday I love you less and less
Unless, unless
I know, I feel it in my bones
I'm sick, I'm tired of staying in control
Oh yes, I feel a rat upon a wheel
I've got to no what's not and what is real
Oh yes, I'm sorry I digressed
Impressed you're dressed to SOS
Oh, and my parents love me
Oh, and my girlfriend loves me
Oh, they keep photos of me
Oh, thats enough love for me
Oh, and my parents love me
Oh, and my girlfriend loves me
Oh, they keep photos of me
Oh, thats enough love for me
---------------------------------------------------------

So, do you Love the hate
or
Hate your love?

The battery that rocks the cradle rules the world

So ladies!!! After that ugly break up, when your mid month urges hit the roof, when the dry spell starts resembling the cracks of a depleted river bed, how many of you have 'Pressed In' the services of Jack Rabbit?

No !!!!!! Thats not the name of that rugged looking rodeo, sporting ropes on his shoulder or that sweaty underwear model for Calvin Klein. I obviously meant that batteryware from neon lit stores and gawdy mail order catalogs (that link above is to amazon.com suprisingly !) .
But, I am sure in your minds, all of em (rodeos, underwear models and Jack) have co-existed.

So, its the age of post 'Sex and the City'- a flamboyant celebration of the 30 something single woman who embraced self-indulgence as a quality alternative in the absence of everything organic. Its the age of waking up one morning and taking that trip to that egg depository to freeze one of yours for future use. Its the age of, being comfortable being "single" but not mojo-less or comfortably celibate.

"Comfortably single" is so popular a notion that it has the potential to be 'unionized'. That union going on a strike would mean slump in sales for the latex industry and lithium batteries, the energizer bunnies even ...or the Rabbits in this case.

Is the powerful alternative to everything organic eroding the romance of a relationship..remember the ones that come packaged with good ol undying love and affection?
OR
Like in the 'Produce Section' of your grocery store can "everything organic" make a comeback?